Ok, it’s not that I don’t enjoy this program that haphazardly highlights the talents of well versed chefs. The notion of making something from, well – nothing is a familiar refrain (Mom & Julia: swankeventsolutions.blogspot.com). The lure is success when the basket reveals a clash of secret ingredients that read like a culinary train wreck. With much anticipation of the masterful conception to come, I behold these artists, sweaty and wielding knives. They somehow manage to navigate the small kitchen quarters and the list of disconnected ingredients is skillfully transformed into a Toasted Almond and Gingko Nut Zeppole w/ Coffee Cream and Avocado Mousse.
But then begins the slow dissension and my excitement turns to angst. Something about watching the artistry of cooking rushed sours my appetite. My anxiety is further heightened in watching the furrowed brow or poker faced judges. These panels of culinary elite are mostly comprised of highly acclaimed industry professionals. But their often brutal commentary assaults if not insults you. Even the subtle looking down of the nose at the plate before them is enough to make an executive chef question his calling.
“Your presentation is sloppy.” Or, “This is way too salty.” My favorite is when the critique has more to do with personal preference than that of skill or talent. One judge suggests a specific seasoning while the others vehemently disagree, declaring that the seasoning was perfection. Another wants more fish to accompany each bite of vegetable. Why, I would have enjoyed a glass of Sauvignon Blanc to accompany the meal, one pronounces. Where’s my sauvignon Blanc!!!
OK, perhaps a bit of an exaggeration with the last assertion but each critique equally perturbs me. Understandably, a 10,000 dollar purse is nothing to shake a stick at. However the premise of ‘turning (get this) every day ingredients into a three-course meal’ is lost when out of the basket comes a combination of honeycomb and boiled gingko nuts! Even the competitors are often baffled by the contents of the basket. The obvious disconnect with what everyday people (and even restaurateurs) might consider every day ingredients, eludes the judges and their expectations lessen, not even a smidgen. One by one the chefs are chopped from the competition. One by one, each staggers away in stinging defeat.
For one unfamiliar with the competitive nature of the culinary world, the acidic attitudes of the judges may be a bit much too stomach – pun intended. But as an artist in my own right, I’m glued there, watching as it all unfolds. With a combination of delight and disdain, I’m but intrigued that in a minute’s time a basket with dandelion greens, star fruit and cherry liquor could be altered into a menu item that I’d easily spend a ½ days pay for. A desire to create something from these unlikely ingredients began to simmer in me and boil over. I want to run to the pantry and unearth the Red Current Jam and Merguez Sausage! Like the show, I’d time myself at home and get shaking! I anxiously looked forward to sharing the experience, pictures and recipes. But wait! What’s Merguez Sausage? The temporary insanity subsided.
Who of us could open the refrigerator on any given day and have there, fennel, brioche and sea urchin? Never has my grocery list include sea urchin. Nor have I ever stood before the butcher and ordered a pound of pork belly. And duck breast is not something I’d imagine is sold in the local grocer of Bedford Stuyvesant, Leimert Park, Bank Head or Dillard Holmes.
So for you and us all, I say damn chopped!
Instead I’ve calculated a better initiative that caters to the average at home cook. While we culinary snobs might stroke at a feast of roasted bone marrow, it’s likely something that your spouse or children will never partake. Money wasted.
One of my greatest pleasures is providing a restaurant style meal for everyday dining. Better still, is the notion of doing this with fresh, accessible and inexpensive ingredients. The economy as it is, our wallets cannot accommodate the exotic ingredients of the chopped basket.
Let’s scour the pantry to see what we can earth. From our finds, I'll create a culinary experience that you can easily replicate at home. Whether it’s a romantic dinner for two or a kid-friendly family meal, in using what’s accessible we’ll keep it real…simple.
Welcome to Out of the Pantry!
Our first group if ingredients: A Trader Joe’s Tuna steak, 2 Gala apples and russet potatoes. Drop in tomorrow and see what we’ve come up with.
Thanks for reading & Bone Petite!
"My anxiety is further heightened in watching the furrowed brow or poker faced judges." By Golly, it seems like the show actually let us, the audience, savor the inanities of the critics! And amen to that because it takes more than Sauvignon Blanc, and seasonings, and fish and vegetables to create - it takes guts: not just fish guts or lamb guts. Unless you are a fish or lamb, but that is beside the point. So, what have the critics 'brought to the plate'? Pleasant conversation? Appreciation? Gratitude? These blokes seem like they forgot their own best ingredients!
ReplyDeleteAnd: "Something about watching the artistry of cooking rushed sours my appetite."
Cheers to this Miss Drummer. Viva Slow Food and for me, slow quilts. I wouldn't trade any of the ten years it took to make it. It needed to take that long. A favorite song quotes, "God created time to keep it all from happening at once," so let's let that be. As chefs, as artists, let us Savor.
You have inspired me again and also to with some trepidation, look at my pantry. I think Granny Smith apples sauteed in butter with ginger and cardamom sounds nice, I could throw in my yellow onion and serve it over bowtie pasta with some cream - and dig around for something a little savory to toss in there. I wish I had the cream. Off to the market tomorrow.